Johnny McEldoo
There was Johnny McEldoo and McGee and me
And a couple two or three went on a spree one day
We had a bob or two which we knew how to blew
And the beer and whiskey flew and we all felt gay
We visited McCann's, Maclaman's, Humpty Dan's,
We then went into Swan's our stomachs for to pack
We ordered out a feed which indeed we did need
And we finished it with speed but we still felt slack
Johnny McEldoo turned as blue as a jew
And a plate of Irish stew he soon put out of sight
He shouted out "Encore" with a roar for some more
That he never felt before such a keen appetite
He ordered eggs and ham, bread and jam, what a cram
But him we couldn't ram though we tried our level best
For everything we brought cold or hot, mattered not
It went down him like a shot but he still stood the test
He swallowed tripe and lard by the yard we got scared
We thought it would go hard when the waiter brought bill
We told him to give o'er but he swore he could lower
Twice as much again and more before he had his fill
He nearly supped a trough full of broth says McGrath
"He'll devour the tablecloth if you don't haul him in."
When the waiter brought the charge McEldoo felt so large
He began to scowl and barge and his blood went on fire
He began to curse and swear tear his hair in despair
And to finish the affair called the shop-man a liar
Shop-man he threw out and no doubt he did clout
McEldoo he kicked about like an old football
Tattered all his clothes broke his nose I suppose
Nearly killed him with a few blows in no time at all
McEldoo began to howl and to growl by me soul
He threw an empty bowl at the shopkeepers head
It struck poor Mickey Flynn peeled the skin from his chin
And the ructions did begin and we all fought and bled
Peelers did arrive, man alive four or five
At us they made a drive for us all to march away
We paid for all the mate that we ate stood a trate
And went home to reminate on the spree that day